So my first official week of training for the Phoenix Marathon started out really well. I was feeling groovy and ran well for my 3 short runs of three miles each. I had amazing time on my Thursday run even though for some reason that day my feet felt like I had cinder blocks strapped to them and I couldn’t get my breathing under control. I was tired after coaching (at my elementary school) and dealing with the post-Halloween sugar high and the I’m-so-tired-I’m-going-to-go-crazy-to-keep-myself-awake mood all children seem to be in the day after the reaping of the candy. I didn’t want to run. I wanted to take a shower and hide my head under my mountain of pillows until my alarm started to scream at 5 am.With some supportive words from my soon-to-be training partner, I made myself get my running shoes on and get out the door.
Some people wonder why I don’t run in the morning before work if I’m so tired after school. I would love to believe me! I am a better runner in the morning I think. I am more awake, more motivated, more alive, more fresh. Unfortunately as stated previously my alarm goes off at 5 so I can get going and out the door by 6am. If I were to run in the morning I would have to get up by 4am at the latest. Normally that would not be an issue. It’s only an hour earlier, I could totally swing that. However, my neighborhood is not the safest. We’re in a nice little pocket that consists of about 4 blocks surrounded by an okay area on one side and a really-not-so-nice area on the other. I tried running that early exactly once. During that harrowing time I ran with only one headphone in (gotta have tunes), and was clutching my little pink tube of pepper spray so hard it left marks in my hand. My run that morning was pretty enjoyable as I recall, until I began to notice an old beat up pick up truck drive by. The first time I figured it was a contractor or construction worker going to work so I brushed it off. The second time I thought maybe there was a look-alike truck in the neighborhood, but the 3rd and 4th times I knew that the driver of the truck was up to something hinky and by the fifth time (when said truck was getting closer to where I was running), I sped home and never again attempted an early morning run on a work day again. Even if I did consider it, this time of year it’s still pitch black outside. That clearly is not safe.
My 6 mile long run was supposed to have been Saturday but I had switched it to Sunday because I was registered for the Women’s Running magazine 1/2 Marathon. As the weekend approached I was getting super excited. Saturday I was going to meet up with two friends who were also running (one of whom this would be her first half) and go to the expo together. I love running expos. There is something about a folding table or wire wall draped with running swag that just gives me a little shiver of excitement. Seeing all the running paraphernalia gets me motivated and I must admit, a little twirly.
I was meeting one of the girls at the school to pick her up and then we were to meet the other members of our party and go from there. I decided to get to school a little early to get some work done before the fun started. I walked in and sat down at my desk…and started feeling a little green around the gills. Wham! It hit me out of nowhere. I won’t go into details but it was not pretty. Just think Exorsist and pea soup.
I decided to push on thinking it was something I had eaten for dinner the previous evening. I cancelled the meet up with my other friend and drove myself and the other girl to the expo. It was an intense experience. I was trying my hardest to grin and bear it, to enjoy the atmosphere I normally love so much but the experience was tainted with my ever-increasing nausea and headache.
Needless to say we didn’t stay as long as I would have liked. I dropped my friend off, went home and crawled into bed. About 30 minutes later is when the fun really began (insert sarcasm here). All the while when I was feeling miserable, I was convinced that when my alarm went off the next morning at 3:30 am I would be better and able to at least walk my half-marathon. Around 2 am with no relief in sight I finally accepted the reality that my worst fear had come true and I was going to be unable to run.
Granted this is not my end-all-be-all goal of running my first full marathon, I wasn’t training for this half-marathon like I’m training for my full and actually had started to look at it as ‘just’ a training run. I knew with my lack of running the past few months I was not going to be able to run the whole thing, but I still wanted the opportunity and the experience. I was excited about running with my friends. I was excited about running with a group of people of all shapes, sizes and nationalities who have one common love…of running. I was just so excited to be back in the game and felt like this first race of my season was going to be my starter’s pistol for my future so to speak. It’s hard to put into words exactly the amount of disappointment that I felt and still feel about my missed opportunity.
It took a conversation with my friend Meredith to make me realize I was more disappointed with the fact that I missed my ‘training’ run for the weekend. My drive from the beginning had been to stay on track and not miss any training so that I could be ready and in good shape come March. She helped me realize there are going to be things that are going to come up and those things may prevent us from training for a day. We may have to reschedule a run or scrap it all together. There are some thing that are out of our control as much as we’d like to ignore that fact. I didn’t plan on getting the flu or food poisoning or whatever it was. As much as I would like to say I was strong and ran my half marathon and stopped to puke when needed; I couldn’t do that. It was something completely out of my control and there was nothing I could say, do, or think that could change or fix it.
I just need to work through it, put a lid on my disappointment and make myself actually believe what rational self already knows: this is not going to dissuade me from where I’m headed, it’s a little stumbling block and nothing more. Just like everything else in life, my training is not going to be perfect or crystal clear. It will consist of the good, the bad, and the ugly and I will just have to go with the flow.
Runs Through Sprinklers 