Happy New Year everyone! As is my annual tradition you will now be subject to a look inside my rambling and often disjointed amazing mind! I know I say this every year, but I really do need to make a conscious effort to write more. It’s a very cathartic experience for me. I always feel energized and like I can take on the world after I express myself verbally.
2017 was not everything I had hoped it would be. There were some goals that admittedly I did not achieve. I did not master Kung Fu. Nor did I grow an extra 4 inches, achieve world peace, or win the lottery. On the other hand, I did some things that I never really planned on doing. For example I walked across the Golden Gate bridge this year with a group of my friends from school and ate lobster bisque on the San Francisco Pier. I also started working a second job that I absolutely love (and doesn’t feel like work at all). And most recently, I actually went to see a doctor for one of my running injuries (and ended up having surgery).
I’m currently sitting on the couch catching up on all of the movies I’ve missed lately (2 jobs and all…), crutches sitting by my side (orders from my physical therapist through the weekend), being kept company by a giant golden-doodle who doesn’t like fireworks, and a neurotic cat who is alternately hiding under the bed and creeping down the stairs to see if the dog is still here.
Aren’t they glorious? Now I am familiar with the pain of the skin of my underarms being rubbed off by the rubber arm rests. You’d think with all the technological advances we have these days, we could make a set of crutches that don’t kill a person’s arms. Maybe we could fix the height adjustments as well. I’m either walking like a hunchback because they are too short, or I’m on my tippytoes because they are too tall. There is no in-between. Someone needs to get on this.
I ended up tearing my meniscus. This whole thing has made me realize that maybe I should go to the doctor when my body starts giving me warning signs. I haven’t been able to run since about April. So the majority of 2017 has been spent either on an elliptical or a stationary bike. I’m not a fan of the bike. I believe I’ve discussed my dislike and distrust of the bike before. I had to go in on December 27th to have my meniscus trimmed. The little flappy part (technical terms of course) that was torn was rubbing on my bone and causing bone edema. My surgeon is hoping the edema will go away as I heal from surgery.
If you don’t like surgery pics, then close your eyes:
(Yes, my surgeon made fun of my ability to shave like a 13 year old and constantly cut myself. It was a new razor!)
It’s actually not as bad as I thought it would be. Especially after the physical therapist pulled off the gauze and said, “Are you squeamish? You may need to look away”. I was expecting the worst and was (admittedly) a little let down by my baby stitches. My knee is still really swollen and I don’t have full range of motion yet. I’m chomping at the bit to get back to my normal self, but I’m also trying like hell to not push myself and make it worse. I took my first real shower and washed my hair today. That was a lot of effort after surgery and barely moving the last few days. I can’t believe how quickly it felt like my leg atrophied.
I started off 2017 with a half-marathon with my friend Chris. As for 2018… I will be starting off my day tomorrow with hopefully a walk around the whole block (go me!). I need to get back to running soon. Even if it’s slow-going it will help with my anxiety and stress. I can’t be one of those people who sits on her ass and watches TV all day eating bonbons. I was kicking ass at lifting weights and building some good muscle in 2017. I had to slow down a lot when I got the new job, but now I feel like due to this surgery I’m at a standstill.
I’m not looking forward to starting over from square one. I will freely admit it. I do like challenges, but I don’t like repeating challenges I thought I had already surpassed. Physically I will be starting over from where I was about 6 years ago. I’ve gained weight, lost my fitness level, and can no longer run a mile without having to walk. Okay, okay. I have to give myself a break on the running part of that tirade. I was still attempting to run even thought it was causing me a great deal of pain at the time. I get a pass on that because I physically couldn’t run.
I’ve been thinking a lot about the last year and what I didn’t accomplish and decided the following need to be my goals for 2018:
~Stop being so hard on myself. I’m way too judgmental about me. I need to learn to give myself a break!
~Find a work/life balance. I’m still working 50-60 hours a week as a teacher and have been putting in anywhere from 28-32 hours at the second job. I don’t have any “me” time anymore. I need to make time for myself to workout/run, hang out with friends and work on building those relationships more, and just time to kick back and read a book if I want. (The one nice thing about my surgery is the recovery time means two weeks off from both jobs and plenty of time to read and catch up on shows and movies).
~I need to get my head together and figure out what I want from my future. Do I keep teaching? Do I work at my second job full time? Do I do something else??? I need someone to sit down with me and troubleshoot all of my scenarios to figure out which one will be the best for me.
~LOSE THE WEIGHT. I need to get my ass back into the gym and back into a healthy eating habit. I’ve been depressed and stress eating the last 6 months and just keep packing the weight on. I’m not happy with myself and don’t feel like myself. My self-confidence as at an all-time low and I know that has a lot to do with it.
~Write in the blog more. I started this blog as a diary of sorts to keep track of my first full-marathon training (that seems like so long ago!). Maybe I can turn it into a blog documenting my road back to running!
~Get rid of the negativity in my life. I get that a lot of people can be negative. I freely admit that I can be that way from time to time (no really, it’s true!). I need to start being more positive in my own interactions and free myself from outside forces that are negative. Negativity is like a virus, it infects everyone and everything around you. I honestly understand the need to vent and blow off some steam, but when the only thing people have to say is constantly complaining about other people or things, it begins to wear on a person! I need to slowly break away from those constantly negative people, or maybe give them some feedback because what if they don’t realize they are being negative Nellie’s?
~ Go on more adventures! I need to take more chances, do more things, and step more out of my comfort zone. I had fun in California over the summer, even if it was geared to be a trip for school training and development. I’ve formed some new friends ships and reforged some older relationships this year. We need to explore the world around us more and go have some fun!
I’m looking at 2018 like:
Okay, I think that’s a start. I’ve prattled on long enough now. It’s time to enjoy some Rose’, another movie, and try to keep the animals calm with the current neighborhood need for pyromania. Be good to each other, be good to yourself, and have a Happy New Year! Set some realistic goals (resolutions were made to be broken). It’ s new year! The time for new beginnings and fresh starts!
(My obligatory “Putting the Right Foot Forward Into the New Year” shot looks a little different without running shoes on!)
Runs Through Sprinklers 